dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
