i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Randomize
