people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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