clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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