If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Are we still banned from the library?
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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