when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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