why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
