Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
i believe in u and ur pee
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
