why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
This baby is an asshole
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
