i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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