Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
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