wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
