nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
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