Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
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