I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Randomize
