We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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