so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Randomize
