..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
