Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
