i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize
