Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
