Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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