Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(857): View more from Massachusetts

I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.

(1-857): View more from Massachusetts

Doors?

(857): View more from Massachusetts

Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.

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(941): View more from Florida

Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.

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(307): View more from Wyoming

there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends

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(251): View more from Alabama

When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?

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(845): View more from New York

No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown

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(518): View more from New York

I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much

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(936): View more from Texas

I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.

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(201): View more from New Jersey

SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR

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(919): View more from North Carolina

Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF

(919): View more from North Carolina

They call him magic hands is all I know.

(919): View more from North Carolina

Somethings are best left a mystery

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