Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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