"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
I intend to get homeless drunk
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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