If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Randomize