Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Randomize
