there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
