Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
