my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
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