Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
