so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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