brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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