i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
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