what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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