either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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