Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
