He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
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