I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
I just blew my weed a kiss
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize
