I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
Dicks are not precious.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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