do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
The Olympian is in my bed
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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