Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
