I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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