why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Your shirt... Was in my pants
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