yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
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