Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
