how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Randomize
