I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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