I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
