i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
either way he was missing a nipple.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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