pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Randomize
