dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
