I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
