Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Randomize
